You can get more flies with honey than vinegar, but sometimes, all you have left is vinegar

We've been using honey for the past 2 months, but our supply has dwindled.  We've been waiting to use our vinegar out in the open anyway, and now we can, and we will. 

GTFO by 8pm M-W, by 3pm on Sundays.

How many undergrads does it take to find the Commons basement?

Apparently 5.  You're so lost you have to take the elevator to find the basement.  The stairs aren't that hard to find. Just follow the yellow brick road until the road drops into a gaping hole filled with descending layers of stone.

Not all law students hate you...

Just the ones that go to the Commons. 

I have it from reliable sources that those students who choose to stay underground (in the library) with the soulless creatures of the night are apathetic about undergraduates in the Commons.  Fortunately, their opinions are irrelevant. 

Michigan Law is an amazing, welcoming community...unless you're an undergrad

Don't get us wrong, we're usually quite nice and supportive of each other, but we draw the line at graduate student versus undergraduate.  Part of what makes us such a wonderful community is our exclusivity and isolation from the rest of campus.  It's what we love about this place. Ergo, our community gets diluted when undergrads infiltrate our space.  The minute you get that admissions letter from Dean Z, you are welcome here.  Until then, please let us enjoy our space in peace.

Keep the couches separate

There's a reason that they put tables between each couch in the basement--so that multiple people could use them and so that they didn't become places of inappropriate conduct. Push the couches back apart, put the pillows back, and sit up.

"Commons" is a fitting name for a place for people with something in common

Consider the location of the Commons.  It is centrally located, and ideal for off-campus law students to spend time between class.  It is closer to nearly all law classrooms (not S-106) than any other non-hallway area to study.

I live off-campus.
I don't want to walk home when I have 1-3 hours between class.
I have work to do before my next class.
I have an interest in maintaining a usable, centrally-located space for studying.
I like the idea of having a common area where I can go and be surrounded by substantially boring conversations about evidence, professors, and other law school things.
If I can't find a seat next to someone I know, I want to at least know the person I end up sitting next to isn't going to be having picture-book time or struggling to keep their "OH MYYYY GOD" statements to a reasonable volume.
That excludes you, in case you missed it.

We're allowed to laugh and chat. You are not. It's distracting

I'm trying to study here. Just because I take a break to have a fit of the giggles with my friends does not mean you can do the same. And stop emptying our vending machines!

The commons should be option #99 of 99

You send a friend in half an hour before to hold the couch so you can hold your College Algebra study group in comfort.  I appreciate your desire to get more than "58%" on your next assignment, and I'm truly glad that you've found some friends that are going to spend time with you to do that.  

But please, have some respect and leave, you have a fishbowl, halls beyond counting, a union, and (if I remember correctly) 8-11 libraries that are not only designed for you use, but are lonely when you ignore them.

Stop "Sprawling"

Flower backpack, I can't believe you just said aloud that you want to move to an open table so you can "sprawl" and do your "biocoloring." GTFO. Now.  And stop pushing the grey couches together to create your own love cove. It's gross.

Why do you have a blanket??

Are you planning on sleeping on our beautiful maroon couches? Wtf??

And what's w/the WWJD shirt? Don't you know that law students are soulless pagans?

Don't ever put your book on top of mine again

It's bad enough that you're taking up our couch, table, chair, and breathing space, but it's even worse when you cross the line into my personal book space. And seriously? A flowery backpack? Seriously?

The only flashcards that belong here are Law in a Flash

So your psychology flashcards with words like "consciousness" are waaayy out of place. So is your Michigan Psychology t-shirt.

I never want to see that Linear Algebra book here again

At least put some effort into appearing like a law student, like those kids who take books off the Reading Room bookshelves and stack them on the tables thinking that law students actually use physical books anymore.

When we want to work in the basement of the Commons, we best not see y'all taking up every. single. seat. in the room. If you're going to use our space at all, sit together in packs so you're easier to spot and so we don't have to degrade ourselves by sharing a table with you.

Commons Rules for Undergrads

1. All undergrads using the Commons do so at own risk--law students are not responsible for accidents, dirty looks, or snarky comments that undergrads may experience
2. The Commons is for academic use...socializing by permission only or if accompanied by law student
3. No dogs or cats or frat boys allowed
4. No drinks or food may be stored in our fridge or heated up in our microwave
5. Unnecessary noise not permitted at any time
6. Shower before entering the Commons
7. Persons with communicable diseases should not enter the Commons
8. Persons with skin, eye, ear, or nasal infections should not enter the Commons
9. Maximum use is 1 hour
10. No diving by hitting on law students
11. No cellphones
12. No littering
13. No loitering
14. No running
15. No talking, laughing, whispering, or singing.
16. No dancing, jumping, skipping, frolicking, or other similar acts.
17. Law students reserve the right to deny use of the Commons.

We know you're an undergrad when...

• You wear a "Michigan Greek Life" t-shirt
• You're wearing a sweatshirt with Greek letters
• You check to see if there's any pizza left
• You have graphs and a calculator
• Your voice still cracks
• You come into the room and appear amazed at its beauty (we already did that weeks ago)
• You're still trying to find the bathroom
• You're constantly going back and forth between here and the Reading Room.

GTFO

Expect Respect

Just because you are out of the Reading Room, it doesn't give you license to laugh like a hyena. And no, the pizza is not for you (btw, all of it was eaten like 7 hours ago anyway). I hope to high heavens that the pizza wasn't roofied either--why on earth would you think it was?

Now they're giving tours to their buddies

It's one thing to come in here from the Reading Room to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water...but it's another to come in here just to show your undergrad pals that you can get in. And please do not use this place as an alternative for having to go outside to use your cellphone or have a loud conversation.

OMG Stop talking about that frat party

We don't care how great that dance floor was or how much booze they had. If you're gonna be in our space, then keep the chatter at a minimum.